Hi Felix,

A lot has happened during my apparent absence. Some of you know that I temporarily moved from the Netherlands to Bulgaria, on February 17th. I was aware that with this movement I was choosing a new path of awareness. Yet I had no idea of ​​the form in which this would take place. Today I will tell you about it.
I will tell you about it in the run-up to a next move I will make on July 21st, to Panama.

I am grateful to have had the opportunity to get to know more about Bulgaria as a country with friendly people, beautiful landscapes and an intriguing language. At the same time it is not the country where I will build that new chapter in my life, although it helped me shape it in my mind and in my heart, in a place of silence.

This is the title of my story:

"There Is More Love Than You Can Handle — But Handle It Anyway"

I speak my story as a message to you:

I went too far.

Not metaphorically. Not poetically.
I mean: I literally went too far.
With my work. With my loyalty. With my love.

There was a time I believed that if I just gave enough — of my attention, my truth, my insight —
something in the other would open.
Like a safe.
Or a wound.
Or a prayer.

I believed that if I stayed long enough…
they would finally let me in.

And sometimes they did.
But more often, they didn’t.
They stayed behind their walls. Or worse: they fought me off.

And I, like Levi in The Gorge, kept coming back.
To the fight.
To the fire.
To the edge.

Because only those who risk going too far
can possibly find out how far one can go.

But here’s what no one tells you about going too far:

You lose parts of yourself.
You start trading your silence for their noise.
You start giving your breath to those who don’t know what breath means.

And at some point, you wake up and realize:
You’ve become a ghost in your own story.

That was me.
Until I stopped.

Until I sat down — not to fix anyone —
but to listen to my own exhausted heart.

And you know what it whispered?

“There is more love than you can handle.
But handle it anyway.”

Not the easy kind of love.
Not the romantic kind.
I mean the kind of love that shatters you.
The kind that strips away your masks.
The kind that says:
"You don’t have to be a savior. Just be real."

And so, I walked away.
From clients who couldn’t meet me.
From roles I had outgrown.
From rooms that no longer deserved my silence.

And I stepped into the unknown.
Not to save.
Not to prove.
But simply to be —
with all that I am.

And if there’s one thing I’ve learned…

It’s not dangerous to go too far.
What’s dangerous… is never knowing how far you’re allowed to go.
And who you could’ve been,
if you had.

So go.
Risk the edge.
Feel too much.
Love too deep.
Speak too true.
And if your voice trembles as you do — good.
That means you're still human.

And that’s all the world ever needed you to be.


In my next message I will draw the curtain from my new book:
"The external and internal guide to silence - 
How Sensitive High Achievers can find Peace, Power and Purpose in a Noisy World"


Take care,

Felix